CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL

When discussing the various forms of government, dictionary definitions don't apply anymore, if they ever did. You might as well forget all the usual opinions about republic, democracy, monarchy, fascism, theocracy, plutocracy, oligarchy, and dictatorship. None of them are what they claim to be. China calls itself a republic. The late U.S.S.R. was a socialist republic, according to the dictatorial tyrants who ruled the nation. The United States started out as a republic, but drifted into democracy - some say it's moved into an oligarchy now, which means all power to the powerful. (Wealthy folks and corporations.)

Communism, socialism and capitalism are economic systems, not governments, and thrive in any of the various types when the philospophy of the leaders make it happen.

If you're a libertarian, believing in maximum freedom for the individual, the quantity of your government concerns you more than the quality. A king who stays out of your business is preferable to a democratic meddler. It's not so much "what kind" as it is "how much?"

Ben Franklin said, "Government is like a prairie fire, it must be contained." Yes, no matter what type.

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TWENTY-YEARS-FROM-NOW NEWS

Fidel Castro, the perpetual ruler of Cuba, celebrated his 100th birthday today by a seven-hour speech extolling his time in history. Seated in the front row at Karl Marx auditorium was Elian Gonzales, the heir apparent if - heaven forbid - anything ever happens to the maximum leader. Gonzales moved into favor quickly after Fidel's brother, Raul, defected to Miami six years ago. Fidel was asked, "To what do you attribute your longevity in life and in politics?" He replied, "I tried to be kind to everyone, quit smoking Havanas at age 75, and stayed fit by dodging CIA assassins."

OVERHEARD IN ST. GEORGE, UTAH

"I was born a Republican. End of story."

QUOTEWORTHY

"I won't lie to them, I'll just confuse them." - President Dwight David Eisenhower to aide Sherman Adams in 1955, before a press conference.

IT'S ALL SO SIMPLE